"Steak and Blowjob Day" a product of patriarchy

Today is "Steak and Blowjob Day".

I wish I were kidding, but the faceless masses behind the Internet have created a new holiday for everyone to enjoy. It's no ordinary holiday either - this one's a holiday designed for men by men.

It's how guys are supposed to be rewarded after the pain of Valentine's Day - that wretched holiday where men are forced to buy their special someone a gift or possibly say, "I love you."

"Steak and BJ Day" takes place March 14 each year and is a holiday for men to be honored by their lovers with a giant hunk of grilled beef and mandated fellatio, according to UrbanDictionary.com.

It's not on any calendar, and it's highly unlikely that Hallmark will ever sell cards for it - I doubt local bars will even have a "Steak and BJ" theme night.

That's OK though because "Steak and BJ Day" is deeper than bar theme nights and greeting cards - it's a day for men to take back their sexuality from the "control" of women.

It's like "separate but equal" for relationships.

And it's lame.

In practice, the day's activities aren't stupid. As far as I know, steak has never been illegal and oral sex has been OK since at least 2003. It would be short-sighted of me to fault anyone for enjoying either of those, and I'm not here to debate the matter either.

What's dumb about "Steak and BJ Day" is its basis in patriarchal principles that should have no place in the modern world.

The idea that Valentine's Day is a holiday exclusively for women - one of the basic tenets of "Steak and BJ Day" - is a half-baked idea that owes its origins more to corporate interests than it does to women putting one over on men.

Historians often credit the origin of Valentine's Day to secret marriage festivities in ancient Rome. The 20th century version of Valentine's Day was meant as a day for lovers to celebrate their feelings for each other with cards and small gifts.

The illusion that Valentine's Day is a holiday exclusively for women is born out of corporate interest and marketing - specifically by the flower, greeting card and diamond industries. All three of these industries rely on stereotyped views of women to push their products. Twenty or so years of constant marketing have left most believing that women only want those things and that only women should be treated specially on Valentine's Day.

Honestly though, simply misunderstanding the meaning of Valentine's Day isn't the problem with "Steak and BJ Day." The big issue is the proliferation of outdated female stereotypes and the female challenge to male privilege.

I imagine most people don't look at the underlying principles behind things like Steak and BJ Day, but those principles are important.

The day is predicated on the idea that men only desire things that will further the species - namely food and sex. Women, however, want frilly and non-essential things like candy, flowers and romance.

It's 2008, and some people still can't get past the idea that women like sex too.

Amazing.

I'm willing to bet some men even like candy and flowers.

That belief forms the basis of a society which has, for the most part, been dedicated to and run by men. Our patriarchy awards men privileges based upon their biological sex.

The results of male privilege can be seen in the unequal wages women are paid and their frequent lack of political agency. There wasn't even a female-sized crash test dummy until 1998.

In the light of a patriarchy, "Steak and BJ Day" looks like an insecure reaction from a group that fears the challenge of female empowerment.

The sad thing is the challenge seemingly comes from a holiday perverted by corporate interests and not an actual direct challenge to male rule. I'd imagine there are several women willing to voice complaints about Valentine's Day.

Despite its sad attempt at giving the illusion of gender equality, "Steak and BJ Day" can't hide from what it really is - a reaction based on tired concepts of male privilidge and the insecurities that challenges to it produce.

Those holding fast to ideas that Valentine's Day is meant for women and that men deserve a day for themselves need to examine things a little more broadly and look at the big picture.

"Steak and BJ Day" is just another stupid Internet holiday, but unlike "Talk Like a Pirate Day", it hints at the gender inequality issues that are still prevalent and problematic.

Knee-jerk reactions to perceived threats serve no purpose and do nothing to advance society.

Besides, who needs a special day to eat steak or ... do other things.

Know what I mean?


Originally published in The Daily Reveille...